Monthly Archives: March 2012

Pre-apocalypse training

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It’s always a good idea to start training before the apocalypse hits. For one thing, it’ll keep you fit and healthy and all that good stuff. For another, it’ll increase your chances of survival in the post apocalypse. It’s a win-win setup all around.

The program you start will depend on you; you’ll have to put it together, after all. (I know, I’m a lot of help, right?) But here are some things to think about when you’re developing your training program:

  • What do you want to get out of your program? Endurance? Strength? Both?
  • How often do you want to train?
  • Where do you want to train?
  • Will you have a training buddy?

Don’t forget that your kids should start training, too. I’m not saying  you need to run bunker drills or anything (though you can if you want). I’m just saying that your kids have to get fit, too, if you want them to survive the apocalypse.

What does your training program look like? Mine currently is ballet. Which probably means I’ll be eaten on day one of the post apocalypse. But hey, I’ll be able to pirouette someone to death.

Post-apocalyptic weapons for kids

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I know, I know–handing kids weapons! SCANDALOUS! But seriously, in the post apocalypse it’ll be necessary. Everyone’s going to have to know how to defend themselves. Even the children.

What kinds of weapons can you give to kids? Well, there are the obvious–slingshots, giant sticks, frying pans, baseball bats if you can find them.

But those aren’t the only weapons you can get. I found some fun and interesting weapons that could be given to kids (or you, for that matter). To view the “collection,” click here to read my post at ICoS.

Having a baby in the post apocalypse

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NOTE: This is a revised and combined version of a series of posts I wrote for In Case of Survival. For the original posts, click here, here, and here.

You may not want to think about it, but at some point, you (if you’re a woman) or your partner (if you’re a guy) will have to get pregnant. Obviously, right? The human race has to survive, after all; to do that, it’ll have to repopulate.

Which means…pregnancy. And childbirth. And then new parenthood. (Which is just AWESOME. All that lack of sleep? So much fun.) Keep in mind you’ll be doing all this in the post apocalypse, where there likely won’t be any hospitals, OB/GYNs, NICUs, heart monitors, or epidurals (which is a terrible thing to think about). You might deliver on a straw pallet on the floor.

And now that I’ve given you that lovely image, here are a few other things to think about.

But first, a disclaimer: I am not a medical professional, midwife, or a doula. (I am, however, the mother of two, for whatever that’s worth.) This post is not medical advice, and should not be construed as such.

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Causing the apocalypse

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Sometimes my kids get so unruly, I swear they’ll end up causing the apocalypse some day. I’m not sure how they’ll do it, exactly. Maybe they’ll grow up to work on their generation’s version of the atomic bomb. Maybe they’ll end up taking over the world. Or…something.

They have this weird habit of running around in a giant circle. So who knows, maybe they’ll be running in one of those giant circles one day. Then they’ll run faster and faster, and one of them will switch directions, and then BAM! All of a sudden they’ll collide in one mammoth explosion, causing the planet to disappear. And possibly end up in another dimension.

Maybe.

Or maybe not. After all, the LHC was turned on and the world didn’t explode.

The apocalypse and motherhood

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Yep, I like the apocalypse. Yep, I write about the apocalypse. And yep, I’m a mom.

It can’t be a surprise that I’m choosing to mix the two topics, right? I do write about parenting topics every once and a while at ICoS, but it’s not my regular topic. Why? Because there are so many other things to talk about when it comes to the apocalypse.

But! Motherhood will still be important, even (especially?) during and after the apocalypse. If some cataclysmic event wipes out most of the human race, someone’s going to have to step  up to the plate and help out with the repopulating. So mothers, biological or not, will still play an important role in whatever the hell society will look like.

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